so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
the line for where the wild things are looks like radiohead had sex with an urban outfitters
so this guy comes in from the patio covered in puke and says "we gotta go"...Yup u need to go is an understatement
you told me to make out with him to promote the social success of the sorority
I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
Oh I forgot to tell you one of the little boys in my preschool class was wearing a Hooters tank top today.
I imagine my 13 hours of sleep after my 3 day upper bender was similar to Jesus rising from the dead.
I just watched two grown men tickle-fight. Just glorious. No words.
You came in last night, ate an entire avocado in silence, and then told me I should never accept rides from strangers. Not sure I even want to know what happened to you last night!
It's gonna be like a sexual version of A Christmas Carol in my house in a few days.
Excuse me while I gouge out my eyes.
In which case my work here is done.
I made out with my moms boyfriends son last night. Thanksgiving is gonna be reeeal fun!
So, I feel bad. I just told my husband I had sex with someone else while on a business trip. Today is his birthday. I'm kind of a dick.
I'm not gonna lie, but for some reason I have this strong desire to watch porn with my pint of haagen das.
You know it's a good May 2-4 when it involves 14 straight hours of vodka slush and garlic bread
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