There are traffic cones in the living room. One of them is yours.
every time I hook up with him I think about the fact that penicillin was a mistake too... and look how well that turned out. It makes me feel just a little bit better.
Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
hahahahaha your sister just walked down from the guest house with a stain on the front of her shirt and "owned" written in blue sharpie on her forehead. i dont think she knows what happened last night either.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.
Nothing like a little anal leakage to start off Sunday morning. Can't decide if that speaks well of my weekend or not...
That was nice of you. Thank you for respecting the fact that I got cockblocked by a sophomore last night.
Nah. And this is true. It's like you were trained by sexual Jedi or something.
*jedi wave* this is the penis you were looking for
Yeah when we were together he never sent me dick pics like a normal boyfriend. It was always pizzas. That should've been my sign.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Get the fuck back here. Your brother taped bottle rockets to the front of his scooter and is bombing around screaming, "Rest in peace, Goose!"
That is cause you are some weird type of mutant that lives off of Alcohol.
Oh man 11pm. That means it's time to take my shirt off an eat a brownie
Woke up to I'm AWESOME written in purple crayon all over my walls. I love drunk me
the next morning his mother came in to tell me that she made breakfast. she told me to put my clothes on too. awkward.
Drunk man just fell out of said wheelchair
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