I never doubt that you might be drinking at any moment.
and i forgot to tell you that my armpit hair is now completely grown back. man i love winter.
at the gym hungover with vodka in a water bottle. don't say i'm not fulfilling my resolutions
he smelled like listerine and beef tacos
remember that response paper i wrote naked, at 745am still drunk with a naked dude in my bed? yeah, totally got an a- on that. and he loved my insight.
I pull out like 90% of the time, but that's just to make art.
we were hooking up and then he goes "you can touch my penis" and i laughed too hard to do anything. no second date.
The best part about drinking boxed wine is you can blow up the bag and use it as a pillow
The Medal of Honor you banged could be at the inauguration today. You really dropped the ball on keeping up with that one.
It's all fun and games until your in the alumni campus center puking on the floor
If my vagina were a person, it just ran a marathon.
Vagina status: the swelling is going down.
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
I'm going to be there later than expected. There was a yo-yo incident...
He kept apologizing that the nerve damage makes him take a while to finish. Meanwhile he gave me 3 orgasms and a leg cramp
Only you could benefit from a reckless driver
Randomize
