Why don't you ever send me any naked pics
Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
Yea i'm supposed to have jury duty on monday. Hope they don't mind me still being drunk.
Na you can't get charged for public intoxication unless you're outside. I checked.
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
Do you remember using the heel of your shoe as a shish kabob stick? You offered me some chicken, but I declined.
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
NEVER LET ME DO THIS AGAIN I FEEL LIKE I'M GONNA SHIT MYSELF TO DEATH ARGHHHHHGHHG IS THIS WHAT DYSENTERY FEELS LIKE
Just ignore his excessive use of exclamation points and be happy this one is of age.
You fucker.
It wasn't good. I can tell by the way he fucks me he watched too much porn
Goldenshlager is a hell of a drink. And these are the adventures ur missing out on w me. I gave someone a bath Emily. A BATH.
Awkward
Can't say I wouldn't let it happen again.
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
I literally just force feed a guy flintstone vitamins after sex
Ya’ll! My debit card got switched with my boss’ at lunch today (both Red Wells Fargo)....I realized it at whole foods AFTER I ran it for $100 at Vanity Room getting my vaj waxed 🤦🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️. Most awkward IOU ever tomorrow.
I want to be her friend more than I want to fuck her boyfriend.
but like who hasn’t gotten fingered at the state fair?
Randomize
