the beds are so narrow its like a jenga threesome
Last night I fell down in the street (I think in someone's vomit), cut my knee up, lost my moms necklace and my license, and had to walk back to the hotel.
Just so you know, I have a bf.
I guess as long as you bring single girls over and cook cannolis you will still be useful.
i cant believe i hit a parked car with a pink dildo in my mouth... fuckin epic
I woke up 25 minutes ago and have been high for 20. Impressive?
I know you claim to have a large penis but I do not believe in what i cannot see. Sort of like god.
I made mike pull over so I could lay in the grass. He made me get up cuz I looked dead and people were passing. It was like 6:30am.
He handled me like a finger puppet on crack... Time to ice the vagina, I'd like to sit down sometime today.
Shrimp lo Mein doused in green apple Smirnoff is a rare delicacy only a few get to experience..guess I should consider myself lucky
I don't know how we managed to stay up but we actually sat in front of her open refrigerator for god knows how long while she ate salami straight out of the package with her fingers and I laughed. It was a trainwreck.
I feel like our lives always have been and always will be a never ending drunken rampage full of pregnancy scares and lost brain cells
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
I honestly don't think it will ever get topped. Unless a real female cop arrests me, then fucks me. That's it.
I have never encountered a chode in the wild
You seem to be avoiding the poop question. How did you poop on your hand?
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