I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
woman puking in liquor store parking lot at 9:30 on a tuesday morning = best commute ever.
Eric and I got kicked off of karaoke last night. Apparently, singing about masturbation to the tune of "A Whole New World" is not appropriate and definitely frowned upon by the DJ.
I don't know how much more of summer my liver can take.
You really need to tell him that he has a girlfriend. I'm not sure he knows
We're trying to decide between cracker barrel an the ER
I mean really it's like when you're super hungry and you can't decide what to eat, you just know you want food. This is that situation, but for my vagina
Those were the days I had no morals... Dark times.
Shall we take a trip back?
Dude, she got "I party too much" skinny. She looks like a recovering drug addict.
I fucked in the bathroom while everyone listened and banged my dick against a table shouting "order in the court"
GDI YOU HAVE THE GOD OF FUCKING THUNDER'S NUDES AND YOU DIDN'T SHARE
i put frozen meatballs in my drink thinking they were ice cubes and I'm vegetarian wtf
Also, you think turning 23 is bad, I just ran into the guy that gave my chlymidia
skipped tacos for a blowjob. No tacos. No blowjob. More importantly...no tacos. Wtf?
A massage should never include spaghetti sauce. shit was fucked up
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