Superbowl + Mdma, hope we're on the same page.
just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
She didn't know my name but she knew I was Canadian so she just called me Canada. It sounded like the national anthem when we were fucking.
I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
this dude just took some girl under your house for half an hour. you may have helped a 17 year old fuck on the beach for the first time. congrats.
i'm not sure when it happened but apparently now it's topless bar night, im wearing a leotard and everyone is looking at me like i'm cheating.
New high score, I made the stripper choke me while I was getting a lap dance last night
Apparently I told a girl last night, that's she's super beautiful and I don't want to fuck she just deserves being eaten out
Right now Tom has the 2nd floor office bathroom under siege. He shit/clogged one toilet, and he's throwing up in the sink.
Just recreated a sandwich from the caf in my own kitchen. Graduation denial at it's finest.
He didn't get laid that weekend.. and that is honestly an accomplishment for the rest of us.
I told her I had a small penis. Then replied if Peter Pan won with a dagger then so can I
So the tow truck driver didn't charge us because Ian convinced him that he was sent out by God to share his cocaine with us.
You started yelling about vegans ruining the world. Because we drove past some cows eating grass.
Oh my god my purse is too heavy for me to dance with boys cause it has too many stolen sink faucets in it
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