I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
Did she have bad breath? Bad breath makes you think of all the bad things in the world
The google font looked peculiar last night, but then up close I realized it was just dry vomit.
I'm mumbling to people and trying not to accidentally shit my pants
i think i need to institute a "if your dick has been in my mouth this year i get a xmas present" policy
AT THIS RATE YOU WILL HAVE FUCKED MORE OF MY CLOSE FRIENDS THAN I HAVE PEOPLE PERIOD BY VALENTINE'S DAY.
I felt like in order for him to make it to mordor and destroy the ring, he'd have to make sweet sweet love to me in some form of hut or cave.
Great. Now I have to produce, edit and leak a sex tape before Saturday. Fundraising is hard.
Yeah. Got a major ego boost when she said she felt like she had just fucked King Arthur. Buying some donuts later to celebrate with, wanna join?
We are all yelling at the cat at our apt in nothing but our underwear. How do you think it's going.
I'm driving home wearing one sock, boxers, and a tee shirt. That's how good it was
What happened lastnight it looks like I had sex with edward scissor hands....my back is so messed up
my bad i broke a mirror over your back
On the brightside we know now that empty pringle cans are accepted at mcdonalds as cups.... Screw people who judged us, we saved a buck
It's so obvious he's evil. I mean, would a non-evil person have facial hair like that?
Randomize
