Thursdays are my worst days
but now we sippin champagne when we thirstay?
They're drinking Schnapps out of Spaghetti-o's cans. Please come pick me up.
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
Does the whole "it was New Years" excuse apply this year?
Yes, she did suck your dick in the bathroom to wake you up.
All I remember is that the bartender wouldn't give me scissors cuz I was too drunk
I think i can hear god laughing at me and yelling "thou shall pay for thy habits of underage drinking" through a megaphone directly at my eardrums
Until you find your self finger banging supergirl in the middle of the dance floor while her friends are passing around for luigi mustache for a photo op, YOU HAVE NOT HIT MY LEVEL
She just came home holding a fire hydrant. Yes a fire hydrant.
Just woke up, shitty hungover, and realized that every article of clothing I slept in was backwards, bra included. Fuck you, gin. Fuck you.
Came home plastered at 8am. Roommate had hot glued all the ashtrays and various items to their surfaces. Couldn't handle it. Went back to the bar.
Best case scenario you died and I melt into poo
Business idea: assless chaps for toddlers. I'm high.
Do you remember trying to sleep under the pool table while wearing a reflective vest?
Nope.
You kept saying you had to be safe.
Is 6 weeks really a benchmark now?
Ask me in 6 more weeks, when they're in a bisexual polycule.
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