I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
I have no morals, kinda like you have no standards
None
I now officially know the distance between my two boobs is one twizzler.
Amanda Bynes on the cover of maxim is my 8th grade masturbation fantasy come to life
yo everyone went to the hospital last night
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
I should start riding the bus again so I can drink all day
im celebrating the fact lent is over and i can give blow jobs again.
You climbed into the Suite next to us at the game so you could steal the half eaten hot dog someone had left on the table. That high.
how many thumbs am i supposed to have at one time
you found the shrooms didnt you
In the middle of blowing him I looked at him and said "Your so old..." and then continued. I need to stop drinking.
yeah that bottle of rum is only the second thing I want that kid to be pulling out of his pants
Let's get a hotel room this time. I really don't want to sleep in a Dennys parking lot again.
Hey also tomorrow casually bring up wearing crocs to your sister's wedding
I showed up drunk and covered in glitter, smelling like stale booze and dirty stripper and my younger brother gave thanks his life wasn’t a shitshow like mine
That’s how my thanksgiving went
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