i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
Di me a solid and hit me with your car.
Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
My Vagina smells like Nemo again.
sober me hid the cigs from drunk me. sober me is a tricky bitch.
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
He really likes Obama...and Bill Clinton too. He said "I mean, how many presidents can say that they got head in the oval office?"
Soulmates.
All that matters is I got the megaphone home safely
My vagina would be awesome. I would be the most popular girl in the village.
Until you find your self finger banging supergirl in the middle of the dance floor while her friends are passing around for luigi mustache for a photo op, YOU HAVE NOT HIT MY LEVEL
I look like i have multiple stab wounds in my foot and there are footprints from the elevator to my room. What happened?
she sent me a picture of dilf asleep in bed with the caption "what happened last night?"
A surplus of mistakes were made and I don't know what 89% of them were.
We can't go out this weekend. My uterus is so desperate it's given me permanent beer goggles
While strippers were eating ones out of my boobs, several sources claimed trump shared classified info with the russians. We should get hammered on Mondays more often, bitch.
Randomize
