i just walked into a room at this party and someone yelled "dibs!"...
I wish that guy wasn't missing teeth
video games are the ultimate cock blocker
If I had a penis, I would stick it EVERYWHERE. I don't know what these guys are doing.
i just added no after every hockey player in my phone..
her body is proportioned like a family guy character
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
After we were finished she said "That was like marriage sex". Should I take that as a compliment or insult?
All I want is for every tall lanky young guy who is reading in a Starbucks to go balls deep in me. That's all.
i did nothiing wrong other than not tell that kid his whole back was covered in puke
I wanted him to come me this time. So I told him last time I was in the city I hit a lady on the head with an inflatable Santa Claus and just found out that the restraining order she requested against me was granted. We never hung out.
Some girl at my gym just tried to casually drop the fact she can kegel 3 lbs...
I was chasing moonshine with vodka last night. I'm still not sure how I'm sober right now.
I got myself off in the shower last night for the first time ever! I just looked like I was playing a game of twister.
Fuck it, i havent messed around in half a year. I have sexual tension with a fire hydrant.
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