Bro, I met the coolest hottest chick tonight and she has the hottest friends.
Where are you?
Strip Club
everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
I woke up naked, with 10 visible bite marks and a black eye. I'm just going to assume that it was a good night.
Why the fuck is BBQ sauce coming out of my shower head?
Medicore although I woke up with the business card of a Turkish lawyer called Mufasa...
I woke on the floor next to a big TV. Apparently I traded my bed for a 52 inch samsung and a box of pop tarts.
She said i kept moaning her moms name instead of hers
idk but i have you stored in my phone as 'guy with beard doing body shots'
We could supplement the Tour with Edward Andre-hands. Because 40s are for the 99%.
You know you're an adult when you break 100 to get 75 cents, to buy a condom from a bar vending machine in South Boston.
Fuck you, you can't judge me til you've smelt my boobs.
I'm high. Everything has a 45° angle. That is as far as my eyes open
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
I call him Seabiscuit because he's my trusty steed
I didn't know how to commemorate his death, so I snorted a fat line off of his obituary. Rest in peace.
Randomize
