I want you to know that after i type the word "your" vagina is next on my predictive tex
The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
she works at a police station now. i think thats the definition of keeping your enemies closer.
Did I show you my penis last night?
remember that response paper i wrote naked, at 745am still drunk with a naked dude in my bed? yeah, totally got an a- on that. and he loved my insight.
You can do it. What doesn't kill us just drives us to drink
When you guys came back from the bar, I thought everyone was a T-Rex - Thats why i was hiding under the table. Never doing shrooms with Drunk people again
Woke up shivering behind the titty bar, With the worst leg cramps. I'm like a poster boy for responsibility.
He is indeed a crazy mutha fucka. But mark my words. MARK MY WORDS. My job has placed me at the same party as Tom Cruise. I. Am. Fucking. The. Crazy. Out. Of . That. Alien . Fucker.
Watching the wiggles while tripping on acid is the scariest fucking thing of all time
First date was awkward. I think I just saw someone die.
Did you just email Kelly and I gay dinosaur erotica?
So...I was fapping and during it, I got an Amber Alert notification...that's just bad timing.
My conscious state is steadily increasing towards drunkenness.
Seriously though, I walked in and he was holding my cat in the air singing "the circle of life"...
Randomize
