I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
I woke up in a strange girl's bed and rifled through her mail to get her name.
yo dude i was totally schwabbin last night.
what does that even mean?
you ever see those charles schwabb commercials, where the people are like half cartoon half real.... well yeah i saw that in real life.
just woke up and he was jacking off in the corner.. am i being punked?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You closed the sidewalk off to pedestrians last night. With a glitter covered safety cone
I made a vision board specifically for the purpose of boning john mayer.
Come down. Bring Jorts. We're getting ready for this tricycle race like champions.
Oh shut up man. Once the police get involved its every man for themself.
I guess I realized I had a problem when I ordered 4 shots and told the bar wench to pour them all into 1 glass
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I hooked up with some guy to get over my ex last night. I was terrified until we started doing naked pushups.
My roommate told me he found me naked in the shower puking and when he asked why I was naked I said "you can't wear clothes in a shower"
the quiet that you are hearing is a silent suggestion that you should go fuck yourself
I just used a coke ridden $20 bill to buy Girl Scout cookies
He's my blizzard buddy. We're blowing lines and doing a 3D game of thrones puzzle
it's 1043 pm. still havent changed out of the shirt i wore last night so at this point i figure i'll go for twosies.
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