You're perfectly engineered for doggy style
One little Beyonce reference and he turns on me faster than liberals on Jon Mackey
tip of the day : never have sex with a full bladder. it WILL lead to complications and a very unhappy partner.
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
Why is your signature on my underwear?
man, work is way more interesting with these acid flashbacks.
Hey, just wanted to let you know that University Police stopped by and repossessed the stolen laundry basket. And the 8 bottles of detergent.
We bought a hamster while completely stoned and 2 hours later returned it because your mother wouldnt let you bring it in her house. You cried. a lot.
STOP SETTING ME UP WITH GUYS YOU MEET ON CRAIGSLIST
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
Dude did I even see you at the bar. Cause I was for sure there then the next second apparently I was crying next to my Christmas tree because nobody believed in me.
Just FYI....you totally yelled out Royals while we were having sex last night lol.
If you dont get laid dressed as Woody Harrelson in Zombieland, I have lost all faith in the men of nw Indiana.
Just got done being naked and Mooning the cops. I'm still alive. Let's drink.
I kept my extra Molly pill in my wallet in the change part, that's also where I keep my body jewelry while I'm working. The nose ring punctured the pill essentially coating itself in MDMA. My nose ring is back in my nose. This could be entertaining
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