You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
am i at home because theres a dig starrrrring at me and i dont know wit plus i haer sirens. run fast.
I'm retiring my vagina. Better yet I'm Farve-ing it.
Def the best call fo sho
That way it can come out of retirement anytime and play for different teams. And it can wear Wranglers.
we saw you sitting at the door of the dorm trashed, wrapped in DANGER tape with a stolen balloon around your wrist
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
I started sorting laundry at 6 am. He finally got the hint and left
Yes, but it's not new to me. It's like every time a new guy finds out I'm a squirter it's a novelty so they make me squirt and squirt and squirt until their bed is completely soaked. And then afterwards they complain that there isn't a dry bit to sleep on. No shit Sherlock.
Well, I just did coke with a drag queen in a bathroom so that's the direction this night is taking
My garbage can has nothing in it besides condoms and candy wrappers. That's good garbage.
wearing my old cheerleader outfit to the bar was a great way to get free drinks. i should do this more often
Watching the awkward tinder date at the table next to mine is the most action I've had in months, so there's that.
I think my pussy is going to freeze to the ground
No, no... It was great. I feel like my liver took a vodka shower and washed it's hair with pabst
What use have I for dignity? It just get's in the way of the really fun stuff.
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
Randomize
