I was hooking up with him in my car, he wouldn't stop with my nipples, I had to literally beat him off of me. He kept groaning too while he was doing it. Sick.
Mommy issues
Would it be quicker to bike the freeway home?
You screamed, "I am going to fuck this cheeseburger". They all started laughing until you actually started having sex with the cheeseburger.
I'm a fake celebrity on twitter. I need a life.
btw, her name was actually Alixx. in retrospect, it was pretty much a gimme
The last thing I remember is him grabbing my ass and telling me he knew where the jello shots were, so I followed him.
The Vegas crew is in two groups, Team Vodka and Team Fireball. There is no winner in this.
She told me she's dating him because his apartment is a block from Taco Bell. I don't know how she's not fat.
Someone snapchat me a pic of you topless laying on the bar with Scotty pouring a bottle of tequila down your throat. IT'S NOT EVEN ELEVEN YET.
School starts next week
im pretty sure the interns at this hospital have gotten hotter
Son of a bitch took my liquid eyeliner
We have a shopping cart in our front lawn. Also Mickey D's breakfast?
His life is a porno. He snapped me while banging a girl in the back of the ambulance.
You just can't go back to being friends with someone after you sucked their balls
Well, thanks for not letting me sleep with anyone, but no thanks for telling everyone I have the clap.
Randomize
