I hope i woe up in your car, or else i stole someone elses and slept in the back seat
Jesus people on campus asked me what i do for joy. I said i love sinning especially pre-marital sex.
its impossible for me to find something that fits my tits my muffin top and my ass all at the same time
im already regretting the extreme lack of break up sex that took place
What's standard gratutity for someone having a miscarriage on stage at a strip club? It's important.
Wanna tell me why vodka seeped out of the memory foam when I climbed into my bed?
Bartender just fed me brownie. Its going to be a good night
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
If I never see my landlord's dick again, it'll be too soon.
There were grown college boys running around north campus in capes with nerf guns. If security were to be called I think they would just give them more beer.
she's an english major so her sexts are something i look forward to
Brb crying the tears of my youth
When we missed a fist bump and simultaneously did the Rocket Power handshake I knew I was going to blow him.
Ugh. My life is a never ending cycle of bad decisions and taquitos.
I just used a coke ridden $20 bill to buy Girl Scout cookies
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