You wanna call me after your homoerotic shower?
alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
there are certain things about getting into a cab to go home at 630 am that make me feel like a prostitute.
I got to the point where it seemed like she had 8 giant breasts instead of just two
I wouldn't fuck her. Looks like her vagina smells like a seaside orgy.
So essentially hes paying me $150k/year for the rest of his career to not have sex
SERIOUSLY? WTF! why cant I find a super hot, super gay, super conservative christian NFL player in need of a beard?
I'm pretty sure I have a cold now from having sex on the hood of my car in the rain. Worth it? Absolutely.
Im so excited to get permanently banned for life from all the old bars again, it is gonna be christmas after all
nothing says "functioning mature adult" like sneaking beer out of your mom's fridge in a lunchbox
I think I collapsed a disk in my spine when I drunkenly lifted that fat girl on my shoulders to chicken fight at the pool.
Rush week is fine, only the t-shirts are white and if it rains, the frat boys in their lawn chairs will be treated to 800 freshmen girls in their first wet tshirt contest.
Welcome to college.
Halloween: the only night of the year wheee the more high I get, the more it compliments my makeup and outfit.
He just felt my tits to find out which piercing I lost.
Literally, and I mean LITERALLY as in "not to be confused with a casual hyperbole", LITERALLY the day we broke up she slept with 3 different guys that night.
1) It's nice to see that the whole "English Major" thing is upping the quality of your rants 2) Have you considered that your dick was the cork holding her sluttiness in?
im about to go through the checkout with 3 flasks and a wedding card. let the judgement begin!
update: cashier guessed cash bar before i could say anything. completely bypassed "dry" and knew cash bar right away. i love this state.
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