is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
Making and watching you take a mixed shot with vodka, chocolate syrup, tobasco sauce, cranberry juice, and sundried tomato juice wasnt the highlite of my night. Hearing you puking from downstairs was.
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
I'm not proud of how I threatened that 8 year old during drunken laser tag
I dunno what he did but it both burns and feels amazing to pee
I just want to have beer shits in my own bathroom. Is that too much to ask for?
I'm definitely not at Wal-Mart eating jalapeno poppers with an elevated blood alcohol content
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
I tried sex in a car once. It was like trying to do yoga in a drainage pipe with your arms and legs tied while using a typewriter with your penis.
I let him stay at my place since i had to work early and when i got home there was a fruit snack wrapper in my bed. I dont have any fruit snacks. Which means he brought his own fruit snacks to the fuck session.
i survived drinking for 24 hours, an 8 ball of cocaine and a threesome. I think you can handle moving.
I went from swearing off of sex to planning a threesome. It's been a rollercoaster of a day.
These rednecks don't fuck around. This party is completely BYOB and we now have 6 kegs, 3 of which have already been emptied.
I’m ready to be reckless and make stupid decisions, and I need you to support me in that.
Cmon. I wasn't that bad.
You stumbled ass first into the litter box, and everytime we tried to get you to move you said " if I fits. I sits."
Randomize
