OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
don't go back without me... they'll know i'm pooping.
sorry i walked in and ruined it, but i had to laugh she looked like a pile of bologna the way you had her pinned up on the wall
I've thrown up so many times in the third floor bathroom of Baldwin that they should probably just go ahead and name it after me.
you make it seem like sunflower seeds and pinot grigio are not in the food pyramid.
he made a joke about you fucking his daughter...i think youre golden
Getting arrested together sounded so much more fun in theory.
I got the number from the girl at uhaul even after she saw me throw up all over the parking lot with a 6 pack in my hands.
I am not ready to suck todays dick. Todays dick just laughed and came on my face.
Romney sounds like a middle school girl and that creepy ass smile makes me want to close my blinds
So it turns out that my mom and her dad used to hook up when they were our age
Never been so glad that I look so much like my dad that there's no question as to my paternity
are you putting in a lot of effort today like appearance wise
I am taking my rightful place as emperor of the undead appearance wise
There's mini weenies and empanadas everywhere...
Well I'm half drunk in a green tutu at a chipotle. So pretty good parade.
Don’t get me wrong—I love silver and bracelets—but handcuffs are not a good look on me…
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