My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
I picked my nose. Flicked it. I heard it hit something. Next thing I know, it's floating around in my wine glass.
Two hours into move in day and the ambulance is here already.
For the record it's 1026 and you told me I could leave you in the bathroom.
I love that your last three texts to me were "Drunk." "Getting laid." "In the hospital."
If I EVER wake up with two black eyes again you better come up with a better story than trying to see how many punches I could take.
No if my life depended on you fingering me just let me die
Because the guy guy doing the drawing either wanted to bone, or wanted us to stop entering the contest. Either way, we got concert tickets so I'm cool with both scenarios.
Running my fingers through my hair was like that scene in Patch Adams where the old lady got to swim in a pool of pasta. I love Molly.
No like he has curves. I remember thinking he had a nicer body than me
You are free to stop by. I promise to keep my penis in my leather pants
The time stamp on this text message is reason enough alone to not leave me unsupervised
Feel weird saying this on Facebook, but a dildo collecting demigod sounds like somebody I'd at least hang with for a minute.
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
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