i was watching iron chef and got motivated, so i made dinosaur chicken nuggets
I just came up with the perfect plan. Once i'm a dentist i'm going to offer dad a million dollars to divorce mom.
Just to be safe, you should be prepared to jump out of a second story window
We used a lit joint as a candle for her birthday cake
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I said I usually like going out for coffee before torturing someone's genitals. He said he understood.
if I just puked into my own hand, but then cleaned it up quickly, quietly, and calmly, am I still a trainwreck?
You never cared about felonies while buying me alcohol from the little Asian woman across the street
We fucked through the entire Destiny's Child album, it was a beautiful thing.
Sounds like either a very good Friday night or a very bad Saturday morning.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think we can say happy hour is successful when you have frosting and southern comfort in your hair.
Turns out both me and my grandpa have a guilty pleasure for South American men.
It was a blast. I was going to say that throwing up in the airport bathroom wasn't classy, but it's classier than quietly puking into a fast food cup while in your seat during takeoff...
I apologize for there being a shopping cart in the living room. I don't know how why or where i got it.
Dude I pissed in her little brother's closet and when I tried to flush the doorknob her parents came out and saw me standing there naked, no more ambien for me
Well she's 'call Wayne Gretzky a whore' drunk so you tell me.
Randomize