Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
That's when you crack a 10am beer
His pick-up line from last night: "I bet you cant climb these stairs right now." Needless to say.. it worked.
she said your name and I thought she was asking me to motorboat her. Best. Miscommunication.Ever.
Fuck him tonight for the both of us. We're still tag-teaming in spirit.
Just read my long term horoscope. I'm not gonna get laid for another 2 years.
His little brother just walked in, asked me if I'd blown his brother yet and then announced that he and his friends were going to play outside so we could play too.
Just talked to Kate. She said I called her on Friday night. She said I was crying for 5 minutes because we were parked in front of a fire hydrant.
I'm the man of the house if we're referring to livers.
I'm not sure what exactly you were planning, but you kept yelling that we were going to need a lot of midgets and a lawyer.
What kind of present accurately says to my male suitemate "I'm sorry that I accidentally flashed you my vagina while I was super drunk"?
His status said "sad." of course I liked it. I don't even care that I was the only one. Facebook isn't your god damn journal, we don't care about your problems.
I'm asking you this because you're my dad....is coke a drug I should try?
I think I fell asleep on my pizza last night. Damn, I am sauccccy.
might I remind you I fucked a 21 year old and almost did coke with strangers? you definitely came out on top
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