Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
I just put on my hot pinky lace thong... you know what that means! ;)
Oh god. Slutty you is on the run. Someone needs to alert the city.
When you get home we need to compare our schedules and set up masturbation slots. I'm scares of you walking in on me. Again.
Jesus Christ, she just started playing Enya and is humming along to it. Way, way, way too hungover to deal with her shitty taste in music
you know...the drug dealer i named my baby after.
Also there's a dick sized hole in my tights...should I be worried?
I just threw up trying to put pants on. This is obviously a sign to stay naked.
Synchronized big wheels back flips off the second floor roof. Good idea or great idea?
Never use fire and ice condoms with a dude who always claims he "didn't know it was the wrong hole"
i showed up sober to class for the first time. my prof said that i was "off my game today". i love philosophy
i am laugh crying so hard the guy next door stopped playing guitar
It's like weed even makes my glasses better. Everything is so bright and clear and beautiful!
you got into a really intense arguement about protecting bees. it was wierdly arousing.
He spent three years trying to get a chance with me and finally broke me down. then he came in two minutes and was so upset he locked himself in the bathroom so I helped myself to his weed and left. Wanna get stoned?
snapping my married booty call and next thing I know a plan b ad pops up
Randomize
