you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
Whiskey + Water + Crystal Lite does NOT = refreshing summer time drink.....
just reminessing about the wedding and were they seriously to tight to serve a meal oorrrrrr was it just another one of my black-out-by-dinner drunks
the fact that you actualy have a 'black-out-by-dinner drunk' is a bit deserving..
I've injured myself in such a way that i am only capable of making love standing up now
I feel as if we moved beyond the hook up stage when she blew me as I drunkenly finished my chicken nuggets.
Turns out the old man beside me in the waiting room was dead, but other then that it was a good day.
I just realized that I have dated 5 unemployed guys...and 3 that drove pt cruisers...Turns out I do have a type.
What exactly do I say to a random stoner hookup to thank him for ending my dry spell? Is it awkward to just say "Thanks for that. It was well needed."
I think I may have just taught my whole hall how to give a good blow job. So this is college.
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
It's my day off, I'm going to Target to check out Moms in yoga pants
I just typed "I've got a friend" and my phone autocompletes to "that's a dick appointment". What is my life.
He fucked me so hard my hair extensions fell out
"I mean like shit happens" should never be an excuse for anything
Randomize
