Tell her she can't have a vagina
Last night while we were having sex, 'God bless the USA' started playing on his itunes. He came almost immediately... so awkward.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
Dude this deaf chick is totally hot, I just bought an apartment on boner ave
I would have been very attracted to her had she not been reading me my Miranda Rights
I'm tryin a pb and onion sandwich now
Please smoke with me until I agree that sounds like a good idea
Do you think I could get someone from tinder to drive me to the airport?
once he tried to wake me up from my hangover nap to have sex, that's when things went downhill. he had to go.
I feel like I got hit by a truck. And I vaguely remember getting into an argument with a passive aggressive Ron Burgundy in a onesie- grown man, not a baby- about the pronunciation of New Orleans
Happy anniversary, did you sign and mail in the divorce papers yet?
Stop it. You know what r&b does to my body
WHY didn't you stop me from ordering $900 worth of socks last night when I was very obviously judgement impaired at the time?!?!
He told me to keep watching the Grammys and then went down on me.. I think I'm in love.
I'm pretty sure I broke my breathalyzer by breathing vaporized vodka into it.
Some sorority went “Dick or Treating” at a frat house and now the Halloween parties are canceled
Randomize
