we tried have sex after i gave him a handjob. he wouldnt get hard and kept saying his little boy is broken.. please come get me
do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
She is wearing lilly and pearls while drinking natty from a monogrammed coozie. If that isn't a sorosititue I don't know what is
I miss vodka workout Fridays
he doesn't drink and he's an emt - he'll be our dd for nye in exchange for a threesome tomorrow afternoon.
They better compete for your attention. Dual to the fuck
He just told me that when we were doing it I told him I was the captain and he was the boat. Im too embarassed to ask for money for a cab.
When was the last time you made a good decision when you could've made a shitty one
I had a salad today
Screwed a girl without a condom but hey at least you got your veggies
New York City is dangerous when the only bars you go to are the ones that have 'open' in front
THEY DIDN'T THROW MY PORN AWAY!!!!
You would think by the size of the lump on my ass that I would have remembered falling down a flight of stairs.
she's throwing knives it scares me
update: broke ceiling. glass everywhere
We keep making plans but he keeps getting arrested. Such a tease
My mom found me this morning passed out, face down on my dinning room floor
That must have been one awkward situation haha
Well I woke up in my bed.... I don't remember her finding me
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
Randomize
