i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
I am listening to lecture and I can hear us in the background talking about anal beads.
I think i just threw up blood. i can't chill right now;
Russians do not operate on the same level as the rest of us. hoping I wake up tomorrow
Drunbk and roasting marshmallows on my stove. Accidentally singed the catr's fur but she'sd alright.
I may or may not have just let Ash Ketchum capture my wild Pikachu in a parking lot.
maybe facebook could make a notification like "someone tagged a photo of that guy you used to bang and still think is really hot with his shirt off"
How does one un superglue their foot to the floor
After you smoke one night. Just whisper in a barely audible voice, "Grey Poupon"
Is there a tactful way to ask "how are your balls?" Or do I just ask point blank
Mom saw my dick pic over my gf's shoulder. She told her she really should've had me circumcised.
Well obviously we have a ghost in the house who’s taking showers in your bathroom and doing our cocaine.
These random guys found me. They told me not to wander in the woods and i remember saying 'am i fucking Bambi?! I'm not gonna walk into woods!' then i threw up.
Get over here and bring your drill!!! The strippers next door need help installing a stripper pole by their pool
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