If immigrants and dwarves find love, why can't I?
This guy told us that for a dollar and two cigarettes he'd let Megan stomp on his crotch. We were gonna refuse, but we figured someone had to keep him from passing his stupid genes along.
can't decide if i want to get drunk or coked for this harry potter thing.. it is kind of long
aren't you going with children?
she went to her friend's wedding and caught the bouquet. as the unwilling rebound, can i run away now?
That's terrible. At least give it a creative name like muff mobile.
Hangover or death. Death. I'll have a slice of death please.
As soon as he came we went to Dairy Queen. That drive through lady was very condescending about our "just fucked" ice cream.
I'm going to teach Troy such valuable life lessons. Yesterday I told him to stay away from girls who drink redbull and vodkas.
I WOKE UP IN A FUCKING DOG BED HOW DO YOU THINK I FEEL
the first cop to show up was this girl who hooked up with our home ec teacher in high school, she knows about questionable decisions
He showed up riding a bike blasting the ghostbusters theme song. His name was Lasercat. Im in love.
The last thing I remember is him yelling from across the room "WE FINISHED THE HANDLE!"
It was 11pm.
sometimes i just have a bad day n consider lowering my standards
YOU FUCKED THE DARE INSTRUCTOR DIDN'T YOU?
It'd be good to change things up a bit, right now the only public service I'm doing from my apt is hanging out in my underwear with the lights on.
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