I'm too scared of my Fleshlight to even use it anyway.
Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
im trying to pick out the cookie crumbs from my adderall. it is a lot harder than it seems.
We're playing Big Buck Hunter to determine who buys the next pitchers. And they said video games wouldn't help me later in life
one of the cashiers from Kroger is eating at my kitchen table and nobody knows why.
IF SOMEONE ASKS YOU IF YOU WANT THE GOOD DRUGS YOU SAY YES.
I just lit a candle in my room using axe and a lighter, that's how bored I am. Let's get schwasted.
The Russian stripper asked if I like foreign girls. I told her I absolutely fucking hate accents. Most awkward 7 minutes ever
it's like getting dryhumped by a chainsaw in the very best possible way
You are driving me to get new toys, i am test driving them on the way home.
We are taking your truck.
I always can't wait to see you but when there's also an opportunity to get naked it elevates to an entirely different level
I peed in Andys sink the other day bc I didnt want him to hear me pee
just said thank you to the lady who gave me a body search at the airport
Those brownies did us in. I honestly blacked out completely.
What brownies? Ohmygod.
Randomize
