Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
can you explain to me why you commented on every one of my profile pics with "tits and beer ftw" please and thank you.
Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
We ran out of wine so we are trying the absinthe you brought over from Spain like 3 years ago. Please call me at noon tomorrow. If we die, its your fault
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
when was she peeing in the stairwell? why dont i remember this?
....because generally we only remember 40% of the night each, and have to fill eachother in. And that still leaves 20% that we will never know and its probably for the best
Would it be out of line to take a picture of all the earrings, rings, hairclips, and other miscellaneous girl items that I found under my bed and post it on facebook and tag all the girls that I slept with this year so they can claim their shit and get it out of my house?
I just stuck my fingers down her throat so she could puke. I mean what are friends for
Oh my god she just threw up on her dog
I actually had to tell him that sex doesn't replace my Tupperware. Our relationship has reached a weird level.
Apparently I taped knives to my hands and made everyone call me wolverine
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
"Let's do body shots off the freshmen" is officially the worst thing I've ever said.
He can kiss the multicultural 3 some goodbye
Today's forecast: 90% chance of bad decisions, good stories, solid new dick and artichoke pizza
well I ran around the park drunk with a plastic baby and fell, all while screaming "I WILL PROTECT YOU CARLOS", yeah there's video
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