No awkward lesbian experiences without me
Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
I'm not going to fuck him in his Honda Fit. That's gay.
i mean, i stole her boyfriend and beat her snake score on facebook within 48 hours. not her week.
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
You have permanently scared my back with your nails. I would like to congratulate you on a job well done.
He came to my house drunk at two a.m., got in the hot tub, refused to get out until he smoked a blunt, and said "That's what brothers and sisters are for."
The lady at the Humaine Society gave me her nephew's number because I seem like a loving and caring person.
Does she know that each time you've adopted a new cat in the past year it's because some guy stopped fucking you and you don't want to eat your feelings?
Talking to her is like watching "Bad Life Choices: The Movie"
I don't think that calm, have their shit together people actually exist.
I lost a shoe at the club last night, I think that's when I decided to go home.
She's licking the whiskey out of the carpet. I think we may be soulmates.
First things first, I always get more drunk than the birthday girl. Like, who's idea was it to sing karaoke? I killed it.
I honestly just wanna put my face in her tits and disappear from this plane of existence
my goal is to never have a bac of 0.0 the whole time while in the state of florida, which means i have to chug a beer before i cross the state line
Randomize
