She made fun of how I walked so I announced to her boyfriend that I have cum on her face before.
Every morning i wake up and check his twitter like a horoscope
I just beer bonged a sparks. You better get your ass over here because no one is on my level yet
can u get pink eye on your cock?
I'm making progress with her.. She actually looked at me today and gave me a dirty look. Things are going real good.
Sometimes I worry for your future but then I remember how big your boobs are.
Since when does a beard not count as proof of age at the liquor store?
He came for an unexpected visit and let's just say I shattered his illusion that girls don't watch porn
I used my yoga mat as a door stop so he couldn't come into my room when i was sleeping last night. Drunk engineering at its finest
Dude, if I don't end up wearing a banana suit in Milwaukee, I will consider that trip a complete failure.
I need a present that says please like me even though i'm banging your grandson
I JUST LIKE FLANNEL, NOT VAGINAS! OK?
I think all the guys I've fucked in my life would get along perfectly. They'd probably form an orchestra and travel the fucking world. That gives me the slightest feeling of consistency in life which is great.
Of all of my friend's husbands, I like when yours hits on me best
Awe that means so much to us
im gonna shove his purity ring down his throat
Randomize
