you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
I Just realized that having a picture folder that says "not for mom" may give off the wrong impression to wondering eyes
How do you get eyebrow wax out of your butthole region?
The fact that you aren't ashamed to ask that is the reason I will give you the answer. Under the sink there is a bottle of wax remover. Throw my waxing kit away as well.
I wish there was a non slutty way to ask the guys across the hall if i can copy their men's bathroom key so I have one for my one night stands
That's so unfortunate for him bc you can always find another penis, but he's stuck with it
this is worse than the time i threw up a condom.
just filed my taxes drunk as balls. i may be going to jail.
Update- I sold my hat to some drunk kid for 50 bucks. I used my earnings to buy beer on the way home. I realize to everyone else seeing me drinking on my balcony at 6am, I look like an alcoholic, but I'm thinking of it as a night cap
She was rubbing her face on the carpet, she was high.
The bartender has no bra and is giving out free shots. Call mom I'm getting married.
Son of a bitch took my liquid eyeliner
I gave him a bj as a thank you for helping. I think that's good.
Today has been hell. Also I saw a dead man's penis. It's safe to say I will be getting very drunk tonight.
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
DO IT!
She never came back from the bathroom so I went to look for her... I was in my room and heard this rustling. And she was in my closet petting ties.
Randomize
