New discovery: doing the Helen Keller is not as attractive as I thought it would be, in reference to the sex noises.
the liability waiver did not state that i couldn't bring my bottle of wine in the bouncy castle. it did Not.
I may also break bread with strippers. Because it is passover.
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
Best. Handjob. Ever.
I'm guessing Kelly is over?
Nope. Home alone.
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
styled my pubes into a mustache as a surprise. Thought you should know
well in the interest of full disclosure I have been using a used kfc spork as a buttscratcher for a month
Since the world is still here you can go ahead and disregard those pictures I sent
That's just weird. That doesn't make sense sexually at all. I mean, you might as well tape a pen to the tip and try and write your name while you're at it.
I was dancing with a blow torch in one hand and a bowl of weed in the other
ugh I gave him morning sex and he doesn't even text me back for my bagel order
I needed to bring way more fireball to class to match this professors intensity
Bro. I traded my coat. I have a Raiders coat now.
I shouldn't have to tell you to stop throwing knives at me.
Randomize
