I can't breathe out the right side of my face
His moose knuckle keeps winkin at me
i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
I just threw up a christmastime peep. I am literally already sick of the holidays.
how did we ever eat at restaurants where they DIDNT squirt-gun tequila in our mouths?
i dont care. it has been a 14 hour day, and we are all celebrating by alternating shots and grilled cheese.
all i could think about while he was eating me out was how pretty his eyelashes were
The random guy I fucked from craigslist said I had the best smile. I take compliments where i can get them
I am gathering blankets and bags of horse grain to pad my truck bed so I have a comfy place to crash when I get home, without the inconvenience of stairs. Or doors. Or walking. But with the refreshing scent of molasses.
I punted my pants across my apt at my roommate last night. Everything else is kinda fuzzy.
I feel like the devil is trying to impregnate me through my eyeballs.
Woke up, moved an empty handle of fireball to spit blood, then put the morning cigarette out in it.
My ass is underappreciated
I can't decide if I miss drinking or you, they are so closely connected.
Not sure she's stomping around my apartment muttering incoherently about wanting to speak to the colonel
Randomize
