How can something that makes you feel so good one day make you feel so bad the next?
Alcohol?
Sex with a fat chick.
dude, you're never picky with who you hook up with, have a little dignity
nah man, chicks are like pokemon, gotta catch \'em all
you just broke rule number 1. If you can't lift her up don't date her
It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
did you know that snuggie is the perfect anti-freak out aid for stoners? it weighs you down so you can't go anywhere. just sit there and enjoy the movie, that's right.
I kept feeling my boobs..just to make sure they were still there.
If she asks the cat was vomiting before I fed it fried calamari
She told me my dick looked like a baby seal wrapped in a sleeping bag.
she tried to handfeed me fritos while yelling "PENIS TRAIN"
Big girls don't cry they get day drunk
Ten minute nap on a staircase honey badger don't care
I love you. Mom got to wasted at the wedding that she threw up on my shirt.
Do you count doing $200 of coke off his dick until 6am as a successful rekindling of our relationship or...
That would be a mascot riding an ATV at a semi-professional hockey game, if that doesn't sum up how I've been I don't know what could
Wanna shave the hair on my back? If you're offended I was joking, if not I'll bring booze and maybe you can do other regions too.
Randomize
