It was like a spaceship landed and 1000s of hipsters filled up the park
I hate myself for knowing the words to party in the USA.
masturbating is 5million times harder to finish knowing grandma is in the guestroom downstairs. just so you know.
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
I'd like to personally thank you for not letting anyone puke in any of the salad bowls this time
It's like she can't drink without using a flambongo
Tonight when I'm getting a bj from a stripper I'm gonna imagine it's you bobbing down there
Please tell me that's his leg and you didn't really just send me a picture of your dog's dick
For gods sake, I only took one. With two nyquils. What a happy world its been today. Fulfill your obligations and then its marvelouso.
Fuck your 100 proof Hot Damn. Do you know what 100 proof vomit tastes like? Anger.
So are you still down for me to come stay with you and just have sex on vicodin all weekend?
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How bad would it be to ask my maintenance man for new blinds because the dude puked on those too?
I couldn't find a lighter, so I smoked a bowl with a birthday candle.
The only thing I know is that these arent my shoes and Aaron is missing and he has my house keys.
Ahha guy saw me buying beer, went "hmmmmm" and nodded his head approvingly. No words exchanged, but he has made his way to my heart haha
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