Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
it wouldnt have been so bad but she still had the cowboy hat on when my mom walked in
I know this is weird, but can you ask your girlfriend if she has my mailbox?
Seriously?
100%
I come up with the best drinking games while babysitting
You realize at the bar last night we blew on imaginary whistles like rose from titanic right?
I woke up spooning my guard tube. Tell me I'm not the most dedicated lifeguard ever
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
So it finally happened last night... I re-met someone that i've already had sex with. Had no idea who he was. Fantastic
An we can hold bottles of vodka in our hands singing yo ho a pirates life for me
I told him if he wanted to lose weight he had to learn self control. Less than ten minutes after that I ate a cookie off the floor...
All I can think of is a mama duck followed by her baby ducks, in brightly colored track shoes.
How high are you?
Is there a polite/non-lush way to ask how alcohol ranks on their list of priorities? Because like idk how to break the ice furreal.
The hospital waiting room is starting to become a very familiar place to me.
Randomize
