I got us kicked out of the bar because the waitress found me in the kitchen trying to make spaghetti
we sat in the hammock and pretended we were skydiving for three hours. jack actually started crying when i convinced him his chute didnt open.
everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
Banging your ex-girlfriends best friend 3 days after you break up is like saying "fuck you" with feeling. I wouldnt have it any other way.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's like, I'm the official vagina for that DJ group
I did the crab walk everywhere because I was drunk enough that it was easier than standing up.
I got shot at last night. Lesson about married chicks: learned.
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
Did you really just call a picture of your erect penis art?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like I would find myself in so much trouble if I hadn't married my DD.
I just did a walk of shame on my own block. one of the old neighbors saw and greeted me "good morning, girl next door"
Nothing says hey I wanna be your friend again like ambushing me with a dick pic
He just kept pissing on the couch as we were yelling at him while he repeatedly told us "its going to be okay".
Listen I don't care what it's called as long as it's drugs
I can't be held responsible for what I do for you after a blowjob like that.
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