i just posted a lake picture of you with a dead fish in your mouth. happy july 5th.
at a bar with my ex girlfriend.. both men AND WOMEN are hitting on her.. and not one has even looked at me
Don't worry about later. I already pre-ordered a pizza for a 1:45 delivery and told them to ignore any calls from your number.
You're getting good at this, you know that?
Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
we were fucking and all I could think about is how my silly bands were glowing in the dark.
How do you say "I'm not pregnant in Spanish?"
Well.. considering he unknowingly dated a prostitute, I consider myself the winner in that break up.
I've learned something. I regret way too may Tuesdays in my life to be normal
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
I will accept it in the form of tooth necklace but if you have better ideas I am open to suggestions.
We turned a watering can into a margarita bong.
I could drive to your house and kick you in the nuts right now....and not even stop for a burrito
I'm going to write a new song and call it "Did I wax my vagina for this?" remind me to never go across the country for a penis ever again.
My dick has been in way too much crazy the past 2+weeks, but hey it feels good to fuck consistently again
Randomize
