I just saw a San Diego firetruck. No wonder they can't figure out how to fight wildfires if they get so fucking lost they end up in Nebraska.
I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
Corey Haim died. 80's me is so sad
its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
We need to get her some penis inspired head protection.
just found a carrot inside of a baby sock. living with toddlers is like living with tiny hammered people.
She said I walked up to the McDonalds counter and ordered just a cup full of pickles then proceeded to offer some to everyone in the place.
Sadness tears and throw up everywhere
I'm very fluent in vodka, but that seems to be a whiskey dialect.
She ran from her surprise party screaming "I'm not ready for an intervention." Yeah, the girl has a problem.
I just tried to brush my hair with a can opener. Who gave you that brownie
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
He washed his dick in my kitchen sink after sex. I think he might be a keeper.
I didn't want to shower, so I shaved my legs in the pool . That drunk .
Randomize
