This girl is more easily done than said...
She said I could do whatever I wanted to her. I pumped for 20 seconds, apologized, rolled over and passed out. I sit directly across from her at work. Awkward?
You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
I swear to God, I saw my life flash between my legs.
I caved and texted him. But it's strictly drug dealing business so it doesn't count.
she likes to give head while listening to britney spears, getting blown by a girl with headphones on is a nice level of separation
Nothing screams don't date me louder then having your baby as your profile pic
i fucked her mom dude
there's something to tell the kids
we just drove by a car that was painted for a grad, it said "you done it!" with a confederate flag bumper sticker next to it. i love kentucky
I wore a firefighters hat and drank beer all night. They had to drive me home after breaking the beer pong table, they told me I was welcome back tonight though...
I have to stop letting him stay all weekend. I feel like a cored apple.
Its official... I need to stop being so slutty.. the guy I had sex with on friday delivered my jimmy johns tonight.
How is it??
I'm drinking Gatorade out of a champagne flute.
Why does your place smell like gin and misery?
I prefer to think of it as 'ode to single life'
It got weird the panthers lost and we started throwing wings at one another
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