Did he leave or is he still there?
He left right away, I might have passed out. I saw your text and was like who left where? Then the oh shit feeling sunk in, hangover starting now.
So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward
I am currently eating pure cake frosting...I am not sure how I was ever referred to as a responsible adult.
My entire floor is waiting for the couple to come out of the shower. She's a screamer. We've blockaded them
Yeah apparently i got lonely because everyone was hooking up so i took matters into my own hands. I woke up on the floor spooning a vaccuum cleaner, a mop, 40 paper cups, and industrial grade detergent.
Yeah but the gay hasidics turned out to actually just be real gay hasidics
My walk of shame got a new perspective when I walked into his livingroom and found his roommate fucking some chick on the coffee table.
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
I tried to say goodbye but you were hugging a trash can and I wasn't sure if you had clothes on
I was throwing up in the shower. He was throwing up on me. It was a cute couple moment for us.
You are the only person I have ever seen offer your other drink to the bouncer on two fors night
Bouncers are people too...giant angry people
Help everyone's hot
Men are hot women are hot non-binary people are hot aliens are hot
Her car is covered in frozen vomit, and she lost her iPhone. I'm also pretty sure I smoked crack last night. Rest in peace 2014.
Quick I need a sexy way to say "suck your balls"
Thanks for not letting me choke to death on my vomit last night
Thank you for attempting to organize my DVDs in chronological and alphbetical order
Randomize
