You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
Honey, If i waited till marriage I wouldnt know what a dick tasted like.
question: does your pee smell like mojitos at all?
Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
How do you politely bring up someone's criminal record?
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
Pretty sure I just became the first person ever to use the word "boner" in a wedding card...
Bro what are you doing Thursday the day before I go to jail??
at one point, i told him to buy you a pumpkin spice latte and uggs because you're a common white girl and that's how he should get you in bed
I'm getting high with a 50 year old car wash guy. Enough said.
I cannot lay down. I will throw up my life and your life and the class hamster I had in third grade.
She gave me a roadie as we drove home from fireworks. People were still lighting off their displays as we drove by. I love America.
whoa whoa whoa, you're saying I shouldn't post pics of you balls deep in a southern hottie?
I wasn't supposed to sleep w him. So of course I sent him gps location to my bed.
Only in this town do you have a bridesmaid shortage due to pregnancies.
Randomize
