You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
they made me velveta mac and cheese and fish. I wanna stay here the rest of my life
My mom just bought me $200 worth of booze on the condition that I promise I won't have to go to rehab eventually
My roommate found me crawling down the hallway as she was on her way to her morning class. Its time for a new semester.
Just saw a woman with a Pomeranian in her bra. Way to step up your game Seattle.
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
I need a new pic for your contact id. Because your boobs popping up when I'm having dinner with my grandma or, ya know, when kids have my phone isn't so good.
As much as I enjoyed playing drunk half naked twister and talking about my daddy issues last time, I'll have to pass.
I just realized my hands still smell like your cock. Which is awesome, but I wonder if the clerk at the store appreciated it.
I feel bad. I'm the reason hand sanitizer exists.
I'll meet you in hell with unlimited boxes of wine though
new low: I blocked him from seeing my snapchat story in hopes he will text me because he'll be afraid I'm dead or something
It got weird I got a phone call while looking at porn and the video started playing while on the phone full on porn audio.
i woke up on the floor in front of the fireplace and my last google search was "fuck sponges"
I just named someones junk. I should not be allowed to talk to people.
Randomize
