im gay
i know
yea but for you.
I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
We just followed a woman home because she looked like Jeff Goldblum. Turns out she lives in a trailer park.
Masterbating to gospel music is like god cheering on your orgasm
you threw up in someones recycling bin and left a note apologizing. how drunk do you think you were?!
just mention it in a side comment sometime today... like oh by the way i have a daughter but um yeah my day was good
i woke up to find out i googled the Twilight Eclipse trailer. so either drunk me doesn't know that i'm straight, or sober me doesn't know that i'm gay
I can't think of anything besides pubic hair fallout. Ugh.
he just sent me a picture of his penis sticking through a piece of paper that he had drawn a stick figure with tits on it that said "you"
I'm still drunk. it's summer. I just need a hot dog and an aspirin.
I shame-fucked to Hotel California, don't tell me about priorities.
ever bang a guy wearing an $800 suit? today you will.
I feel like this is something I should shave my legs for
he asked me where I was going to school, and then we started having sex, and I answered his question forty five minutes later after we were done. It was the chilliest thing ever.
I think one make out session at a bar per year is probably the best choice.
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
Randomize
