im in an endless cycle of being too hung over to eat all day...then getting too drunk because i didnt eat anything. where is my life going?
So apparently vaginal secretions are not covered under water damage insurance for my cell phone
Hey. Did u tell any1 that I use Nuvaring?
Cuz 1 of ur bf's frat bros just asked me if I wanted to "play ring toss later"
beer pong: waldo and ernie vs. bacon and eggs... i love halloween
since i'm not going, you must continue my tradition of flashing every person there.
It was a sobriety test blowjob. If he could get it up, he could get me home.
don't tell me about being eco-friendly. i just threw up in the same bag i bought my liquor in. RECYCLING
I THREW AWAY MY VIBRATOR BECAUSE IT INTIMIDATED HIM. WORST. DECISION. EVER
If I don't survive tonitght I would like to thank you for the ricekrispy treats. I am majestic
Speaking of church, everyone showed up to lunch in the dining hall in their Sunday best and I walk in looking homeless bc I just got out of bed. I hate this school.
Had the best sex Thursday night then Friday night I met his girlfriend. The worst thing is we became friends like she gave me her number.
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
I spilled wine on my pillowcase and I figure it's basically my lifeblood so I'm just leaving it
I just want an early 40-something dude who is vaguely unencumbered, professionally driven and wants to put me in a ball gag.
I just found glitter glue on my jesus bracelet...am I really that gay?
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