You Definitely drank the goldfish bowl like it was a giant margarita
operation harelip BJ is a go
i can't believe i brushed your teeth last night. so drunk.
Your drunken mistake is coming over to see if she wants to buy any of our furniture. I know youre desperate, but try not to fuck her, without a condom, for a fourth time, while shes there.
Ask him about a girl named Meg then give a disappointed and disapproving face.
Just lifeguarded a kid's party hungover so I could afford to go out drinking tonight. Circle of life shit goin on here.
well I already know I'm going to hell, at this point it's really go big or go home
I almost drank vegetable oil. Where were you? I needed you.
I'm gonna have to kick a girl scouts ass...
I didn't rip your fishnets, WE ripped your fishnets.
I hate how she's getting mean with age
Meh, you can't hate. That's our basic life goal and you know it.
Ps I took your recycling out, the 9 champagne bottles, vodka bottle, and tequila bottle is how I knew it was yours
I can't be held responsible for another man's penis.
I have vodka, fruit gushers, and health insurance. Let's party.
God. Spice Girls is now grocery store demographic. Kill me.
Randomize
