uhhh i just had a guy tell me he's seen more jam bands and done more drugs than i could err imagine. what a turn on.
He was supposed to take me to a nice dinner, but istead all he did was get drunk and throw lit fireworks at me.
judging by the mobile uploads you added of me last night, we cant keep living this way.
I was in the bathroom puking up mountains of tequila and when he came to help me, I held the door shut and kept yelling at him to let me be a lady.
Just played slippy cup. Flip cup plus slip n slide. What did you do with your fourth of july?
I gave the naked guy in the hotel a pop tart. He stopped crying.
Kyle's mobile fuck service..... Kinda has a nice ring to it don't you think??
I wonder if a fish could survive in vodka
I could
Y'all best leave this "I can only have a couple drinks" shit at the door. U don't drive to Yukon to have a shot. I'm getting u fuckers drunk.
I'm just gonna use that pot butter as dip for chips. That's fat, American AND stoner!
I think that thing where I have 2 boyfriends is happening again
The last time I went out with these guys I won an iced tea maker from a drag queen.
The guy at the liqiour store just said "Wow haven't seen you in awhile, is everything okay?"
when you come over can you bring tequila and my birth control? Thanks girl!
Have you considered murder?
Other than my credit score and this bowl of oatmeal, not really. It's very messy
Randomize
