u cheatin on me?
if i did i would try to upgrade babe.
where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
this party is like a fast-foward into the future when im 40 and married with children
Ugh, here's a dating tip. Hairy legs are a major turn off
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We were busted for public indecency in the back of my car in the parking lot. This time we were just reading my Cosmo magazine.
Jake just asked if thanksgiving was an american thing...I left the table
Just bought two budlight beers with a can of tuna at the bar
yeah, but i heard shes schizophrenic
i wouldn't even care dude, i'd fuck her and all 7 of her personalities.
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I puked walking onto the plane. How do you think my post-Birthday hangover went?
I put my hydrocodone prescription in my cereal box its like real lucky charms
A stripper just invited me to her daughter's birthday. Where did my life go wrong?
Finally met a man who appreciates my beer pong skills, definitely a keeper for the weekend
Its not often you get to say, "The security guard at my job is my new drug dealer," but as of last night, I get to say it.
I’m a women at a strip club dressed as post Malone
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