last week i woke up at this guys house...this week i woke up at his ex girlfriends
I just came out of my doctor's office and i look into the window and i see a guy sitting in the front seat getting head.
why are you so shocked? you live in brooklyn.
do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
i just made an omelette with the cheese and ham from a lunchables. and ketchup packets
julia child would be proud.
I just looked at all of our spring break pictures... there's a guy getting a blow job in the background of the ones on the beach.
The kid that passed out is still in the bathtub filled with ice and the empties
That's okay, during storytime I would have to sit on my hands so I wouldn't touch everyone. Explains a lot...
We are lost and the only things we have are peanut brittle, cookies and vodka. I think we'll make it.
how was it?
he was petting the bushes because they were "napkins"
Remember when we had a keg, and then another 5 cases... and like 30 people drank it all?
Everything hurts.
Idk. I was speaking metaphorically. Go for it. As one of your bad decisions, I feel confident in saying you've done worse.
Reading an example in the GRE study book referencing Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles while wearing TMNT pajamas. *airfist*
omg please tell me you're eating pizza right now too.
In a bar surrounded by couples hooking up. I'm just staring at one. Not drunk enough. Come save me.
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
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