would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
I was just making a list of the girls i have slept with and i can't remember your sisters name
I like to use the word "seasoned" over "slutty", you know, like a good curly fry
Look I'm sorry I shaved your cat, but get over it.
It would be celebrated in history as "the orgasm heard round the world"
you just kept yelling "siddle that plaza" til the cab driver said it back...
I just realized that my phone was set to Brazilian time...what the fuck happened last night
I puked right in front of him after winning beer olympics and he still hooked up with me. My life is so easy.
My Grandma made me promise not to drink more beer, so I'm chugging wine.
So I come home yesterday and my brother is like "watch this" and it turns out he's been retraining my dog to come running when u say "anal"
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
I'm the only one who goes to a bar and leaves with an extra twenty bucks and a pumpkin.
i could've stared at her spine forever man..she was so deep, and she made a drink out of vodka and organic mangoo shit. i will find her and present that goddess with some fucking gummies
you're no longer allowed out of my sight at parties
do you think eating a burger while having sex counts as multitasking skills?
Few clarical questions about last night: 1. How did we get home? 2. Am I wearing your underwear? 3. Where is Andrea? 4. Guy with nose ring last night hot?
1. You tried hitch hiking "like a pro" and flashed cars while sticking out your thumb until I called Michael. 2. I don't know but probably. 3. Who is Andrea? 4. Hot.
Randomize
