She calls her new ritual "bed, bath, and beyond crunk". Hence why I found her passed out in my bath tub this morning.
what the fuck a piece of candy corn just came out of her nose
1 in 5 deaths i nrussia is alcohol related. GO MOTHERLAND
Apparently I told the bartender to stop putting ice in my drink because it was taking up too much room
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
I gotta shower this stuff off me I'm starting to hear baby kittens in the toilet tank again..
Debating whether the Plan B I had this morning would go under breakfast or lunch in my food log.
Halfway through she said I was exactly like she imagined. So many things have been stroked this night.
You can laugh all you want but 99 grapes is a lot stronger than what you were drinking.
And my nipple is sore from him biting it. That is not a complaint.
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
I think I had sex with a seagull last night. The window is open and there a feathers everywhere.
EVEN AFTER ALL THAT COMPLAINING... STILL NO PENIS
Ok fell asleep on a bus in south Carolina just woke up in Canada where the hell is the liquor store from here?!
How naked do you want me to be?
Randomize
