Best news ive heard all week. The cougars r coming! The cougars are coming!
she said she'd get any tattoo I wanted ... so she's getting a large crossword puzzle as a tramp stamp. I'm the Einstein of doggy style
What kind of flower means "I want to have unprotected sex with you, preferably from behind?" because thats the message I'd really like to send on Valentines Day
If you start sounding at all like you're even remotely in love, expect a lecture on the merits of being a single woman with a vibrator.
This is why we're friends.
Just slept with my boyfriend's roomie to learn if bf was cheating on me
Good plan. When in doubt, sleep about.
My Grampa even called her out for being a cock block at the bar...it was that serious
I'm not going to need your "it doesn't mean you're a slut" pep talk after all.
There're making snowcones with the leftover vodka from last night. This is not the time to be making up excuses!
I never thought I'd say this but my vagina is taking a serious break for awhile
I tried to pay my tab and go home but she wrote me a "list of things I'm good at" with fellatio as no 1...
My cell phone fell out of my shirt pocket while tying my shoe on an escalator....which was followed by me being accused of trying to sneak an upskirt photo and being violently shoved down the top of the escalator. How's YOUR day?
I woke up and they were watching power rangers in japanese so I just found my bra and left
Had an orgasm and got a charley horse at the same time. It was a multi-purpose scream.
I want to bone him until his eyes fall out
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
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