Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
I'm buying a pregnancy test with my lunch money. Classy.
it's a little hard to watch the basketball games with my family considering they keep cheering for the guy that i had a one night stand with...
ill do whatever it takes for me to get more high and eat pie
Is it bad that my only regret is fucking on the bathroom floor and not the sink?
What did he say? I couldn't hear him over the sound of how awesome his beard is.
The moment you realize you should grow up: you're snorting your fathers percocet script with your old health insurance card, while your parents are on a 10 day cruise in the carribean...
You asked him for a membership to him and his dick.
She was rubbing her face on the carpet, she was high.
Who am I sleeping next to in your bed? Where are you? Also when are you coming home... I need coffee.
I asked him if we were going to get arrested for doing it in the bar parking lot. "Absolutly not" said the guy getting the blow job...
Girl. There is no more toilet paper. You should have seen the twerking I just did to shake the pee off.
We sat at the bar and made fun of everyone around us. I'm in love
Taco Bell is better for you than cocaine, I promise.
as a lesbian i'd like to thank joe biden and also america for giving us this absolute MILF for a VP
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