I would have at least made out with you if you were showered.
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
Dude, we totally smoked up inside a church organ last night. Add this to the epic list.
She said her first boyfreind was so small she is still technically a virgin.
somebody put my brain in a crown royal bag and beat the shit out of it
All three of them were helicoptering their dicks to persuade me to take my thong off
You guys wanna start around 10:30 tomorrow?
We can start at 5am for all I care. You ask like I have plans.
Put an egg in my coffee filter this morning. I think I am still drunk.
Red Alert: She has 3 cats, a parrot, and 2 rats. Initiate Protocol Zero and rendezvous at Checkpoint Bravo for debriefing
Here's an unsolicited pic of my tits, because you almost died last night.
8 minutes into the New Year and and I've already sent a nude...new year, new me?
It stopped being casual for me when I waxed my vagina for you
And you seriously thought you could just walk in naked with a bow tied around your penis?
It seemed like a good idea at the time...
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
The viagra-rita was a sexual success and a furniture failure. He said it was the best cowgirl sex he’s ever had even with the broken couch
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