They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
Look I'm sorry I shaved your cat, but get over it.
i just feel like it would be irresponsible for you to not have sex with me again.
My vagina agrees.
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I feel like I should come with a warning like "Orgasm free since 1983"
Woke up with two cats staring at me. One covered in puke thats giving me a look that says it might be my fault. Where am I? Come get me.
Really, thanks for buying me caribou, it helped me out. Today will forever be the day I threw up in a caribou cup in the skyway outside of chipotle.
i woke up in his neighbors pool house. Not sure how I got here but there is people swimming outside. how do I escape?
just fucking run.
He broke up with me because "we're at different points in our lives" I think it's because he saw a drag queen with their hand halfway down my pants
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i told him I'd let him eat part of a weed cookie out of my cleavage, so he pulled over like a gentleman.
Mike's my new hero. There's a flagpole of hook-up's bras on his porch and a week's supply of beer in his fridge but he still has a great job.
This whole quitting my bad habits all at once is really messing with my ability to function.
I'm drunk still and I cried and now I'm watching Whitney Houston singing the national anthem and I'm crying more
What's the best way to tell a guy he can call me when his impending divorce is finalized?
When she's hammered the amount of alliteration that comes out of her mouth is amazing.
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