Five things that make you perfect. Go.
The skin of a dead hooker. The blood of the innocent. The soul of a kitten. The hat from cat in the hat. And sunglasses.
Helping high family members not look retarded is what family is for
she said "lets play dickbreaker!" and then threw my blackberry at my dick as hard as she could.
She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
should i be impressed or disgusted that i was spitting glow-in-the-dark?
I just want to curl up with him and brush his hair and sing love songs together, I think you should come over and end this
I cant shower it involves moving...
Just lay there and turn the water on. At least rinse off the shame.
I just wrote "where Jason is" on the screen. He guessed "hospital" correctly.
HE'S BRINGING FRIED MAC AND CHEESE BITES. I GET FRIED MAC AND CHEESE AND SEX PEOPLE. BEST WEDNESDAY EVER.
Spent 20mins wondering why my roommate wouldn't answer after we were pounding on the door.....Def went to the wrong building.
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
No Bryan wants to get drunk, rub inappropriate dudes legs, talk about my vagina and send me pics of his boomerang dick. That's not how you watch basketball.
That's how he does EVERYTHING!
You was so high that you insisted that you heard someone whistle, then you insisted they was trapped in the wall!
I'm only coming over if you have cocaine or a snickers bar
He sang the chorus to “Inside of you” by Russel Brand in Forgetting Sarah Marshall as he proceeded to not pull out...
Honestly? I wouldn’t even be mad, that probably took talent
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