I am so fucking pissed, there are no Shamwows in the As Seen on TV Store.
Looks like you'll have to stick to jizzing in socks.
Smoked a bowl on a rollercoaster. Literally ON. Beat that.
separated laundry into 'got laid' and 'didn't get laid' piles.
My mom and I were trying to explain to my sister what an uncircumcised penis looks like. We had some minor disagreements.
Life lesson learned last night, if you are too drunk to use the atm leave the strip club
Wise words from the guy who drunkenly chipped his teeth on the sidewalk
Crosswalk actually
You dont realize corn stalks will cut until you run from the cops through a corn field.
I think, at this point, getting pissed and declaring my love via reality TV would be an improvement
He said the last thing he remembered thinking was: 'Why is this vagina spinning?' Too drunk sex is no ones friend.
idk man, i just want to be a bad influence for future generations
I'm not sure how to explain it, but I feel like our penises have a connection. Like long lost brothers. We're not even gay.
Maybe not Elvis quality pharmaceuticals...But some good stuff
they were drunk. and loud. and now they're drunk and quiet. or dead, you never know.
I can't believe I slept with a girl who has the words shucks in her vocabulary. I'm getting less picky by the day..
Some sorority went “Dick or Treating” at a frat house and now the Halloween parties are canceled
Randomize
