I've blown a few things in my day
Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
im guessing your the one that tried to make bacon in the toaster
He snuck into my grandmothers house, broke her lamp, fucked me, then had breakfast with us the next morning. I am an awful granddaughter.
I'm confused about why you felt the need to ask me to buy you life alert for christmas at 3:28 this morning.
Someones grandma was rubbing my back. I'm way too high for this.
Got so drunk in South Padre some guy put me on a suitcase trolly and pushed me to my room. I flashed my boobs as a tip.
Star Trek does not adequately answer all the questions that I have about alien genitals
So you are wearing a heart monitor while drinking?
Yea, they said carry on with my everyday activity.
I plan to get very, very drunk when I get off work.
But doesn't your shift end at like noon?
I don't think you understand.
Are cops allowed to hit on you if they're in uniform?! Serious question.
Two of my roommates are waxing their vaginas in the living room. Can I come smoke?
I NEED TO TAKE A FUCKING BREAK. MY VAGINA IS SMOKING.
I need to bang the neighbor boy. He’s given three women screaming orgasms this week alone.
Also, my apartment walls are too thin
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