Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
my math professor just wrote "parallel" on the board, but spelled it "pararrel". guess what country he's from
You kept throwing bottles at the dorm across the courtyard and when anyone told you to stop you just said "who are you? Al Gore?"
im honestly just eating salsa and looking at his penis
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Unintentionally made him cum in his own mouth, and he just sat there screaming..
I feel like my teeth are caked on with other teeth. What did I just smoke?
No one should ever have to Neosporin their nipples. At least he apologized.
Strange request but for my birthday you should get me one of those vibrators that you can plug into your iPod that go along with the music.
It felt like a sumo wrestler slapped me. With a wet hand. 8 times in a row.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just sang beautiful by Christina Aguilera to a kebab. This is what my life has come to.
You missed the winter stoner olympics last night....I got the gold in blunt rolling
He told me he loved me and then peed his own bed. So at least it was a memorable one night stand.
Seriously my new passion in life is the girth of his penis
When he identified himself as captain clitoris i knew my night was fucked.
The last time I was on vacation the pandemic blew up. Can't wait to see how my vacation fucks up the world this time.
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