wow, farting in latex pants is really awkward.
i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
she went to pee and i could hear her singing "Drip Drip Drop LIttle April Showers" from Bambi through the door.
She had the hiccups when she was giving me head. It was actually pretty awesome
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
she bonged a coffee cause she was hungover. then she bonged a beer cause she got ambitious. then she barfed. then she had to start over again.
Just remembered seeing jalepenos in my vomit last night. Reminded me to thank you for sharing your queso with me. You're a good friend.
Found her with a stray dog now called champagne, crying about how she feels a mom now. Had to take her home. The dog too.
I'm usually good at keeping a straight face, but not while singing a ballad to a stranger in a bathroom.
I appreciate alcohol much more now that I have to be sober sometimes
Sounds like either a very good Friday night or a very bad Saturday morning.
I mean like, I missed 30 minutes of star wars to fuck you on Christmas so you must be worth something
I really appreciate you taking the time to blur out my excessive boob cleavage for instagram
I or someone else dumped a lot of glitter into my boobs last night.
Randomize
