I'm just gonna be the bigger person here and say I want you inside me
I just dropped macaroni right down my cleavage. For the sake of our future, I'm really banking on this being a turn on for you.
My mom is helping me re-arrange my room to make New Year's more hook-up friendly
best. trip. ever. this is going to be too much fun. petland isnt going to know what hit them.
She ditched her BF in the library to come see me wasted at a house party and i still ended up banging that rugby chick instead.
He ate me out like a beaver on a tree. I've never been so scared in my life
Just proved I could salsa dance in a bar where no one was dancing
Sidenote...no idea how to salsa
Last night I was just holding this kitten up to my face for like ten minutes telling it that it couldn't be real
AFTER I licked the bald guys head they told me we weren't playing
i told him I'd let him eat part of a weed cookie out of my cleavage, so he pulled over like a gentleman.
Just for the record, you referenced Harry Potter while complaining about being torn between the Slytherin (lesbians) and Gryffindor (your mostly straight friends) houses (tables)
I'm glad your nude photos turned out "classy" but you cannot hang them in the living room.
I gotta give him props though, I've never been propositioned for sex via flash mob.
How do you clean human pee out of a carpet
Inconspicuously
Apparently last night I was doing back bends for the guy making my easy mac because clearly it wasn't easy enough for me.
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