you know you should just kill yourself when you are helping your 16 year-old sister get ready for a date and you're going out to dinner with you parents..
Just had a conversation with Jon gosselin
Until you fuck him in front of his kids stop wasting my time with stupid texts.
apparently 9 shots of absynthe does not take away your skill to walk. i just woke up under a tree in some field on the other side of town with 4 hours missing.
at least after i hook up with someone i have the decency to ignore them
She kept saying "I'm going to hell" the entire time we were fucking. I really wasn't sure what to do... so I agreed with her.
That was definitely the right answer.
we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had
I just noticed that my shirt smells like coffee after eating out a Barista
How sober do you have to be to donate blood?
Dude she was 62...with a boob job. And I'm proud to say I made out with that.
We lost you in the mall, but to no surprise we found you waiting in line to sit on santas lap. You said you wanted to ask him for a pound of weed and a subway giftcard for xmas.
Idk. It's not appealing to me. Like don't get me wrong, I love ur dick A LOT but I don't want to stare at it on an iPhone screen
You had a fry stuck to your face... Every five mins you would wake up, take a bite, put it back then fall asleep again...
I hooked up with a guy named Quan.. I literally hit the Quan
I think I met my butt stuff soulmate
He said he loved me more than Kel loves orange soda
the result of growing up in the '90's
Randomize
