What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
I walked in on him cutting a hole in the condom.
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
Watching Argentina vs Germany during a wedding on an iPhone. Thank you Steve Jobs.
At what point did we agree that playing bocchi ball on the way to the liquor store was a good idea?
it's official, i've been high in 26 different states, and three different countries.
i'll booty call him tonight after the radiohead concert, that way he can see his favorite band and his favorite vagina all in one night.
I can motorboat myself in this new push-up bra. I need to go out tonight.
I think that's mostly how we became friends.
Well that, and your desire to put your penis in me.
you taught an eight year old how to shotgun a half pint of chocolate milk, that's all i'm saying
there is a guy with a glowstick staff outside my house
Hey.. Lock your door. There's a drunk girl walking around in here. She just came in my room and peed on my chair.
Oh god I found a set of car keys in my pocket, and I have no idea who's they are
What you have to understand is that our lives aren't a disappointment so much as they crashed and burned with lethal doses of radiation and dog shit.
Randomize
